Wednesday March 23rd, 2016 Kyoto, Japan

Today was supposed to be brilliant, simple as that – with a half-day guided tour of some of the most amazing historical places in this ancient capital of Japan all booked and ready, everything should have been brilliant. However I had a very rough night with extremely painful stomach cramps; I could barely drag myself to the bathroom this morning – I’ll spare you the details of my bathroom adventures.

Putting on a brave face I accompanied Sandra to the club level for breakfast where I could barely manage a cup of tea and the sight of any cooked items sent me running hither in search of a convenient facility. Putting on an incredibly stupid face I decided I was fit enough for the day’s activities and so we took the hotel shuttle to the station area where we met up with our tour group.

Off we went along with a bus full of other eager tourists to visit three of the prime sites in Kyoto. First stop, Nijo Castle – dating to 1626 the castle consists of two concentric rings (Kuruwa) of fortifications, the Ninomaru Palace, the ruins of the Honmaru Palace, various support buildings and several gardens. I had visited this castle over 20 years ago, but had only vague memories of it – though I did remember the famous bamboo floor that was designed to make creaking noises so that the Shogun could hear any would-be assassins creeping up on him during the night. In future years if you happen upon an especially fertile spot in the very well tended gardens you have me to thank for it; this would be the spot where I was unfortunately violently sick during the tour.

Convincing myself, and Sandra, that I felt a bit better we re-boarded the bus along with the 50 other happy travellers and headed for the Golden Temple. I was feeling absolutely lousy, but determined not to let the sickness get the better of me.

I should hate to visit the Golden Temple during the busy season. The temple is located within extensive grounds consisting of beautiful gardens, ponds and walkways – all very well maintained and organized, as you’d expect in Japan. Located on the edge of a small lake the temple itself is very picturesque and this leads to some very uncomfortable elbow pushing as tourists jokey for position to capture the best possible photo. I must admit that this recent trend towards selfies, and especially those taken with those selfie stick contraptions, is a pain in the arse when a tourist site is just so crammed with people. There’s something so inconsiderate about people pushing themselves into the best spot and then taking forever to pose for multiple pictures, it’s even worse when they barge into your own frame just at the right time. Like I said I’d hate to visit this place during the busy season.

Aboard the bus and heading for the final stop, the Imperial Palace, I decide I’ve had enough. Rushing to the front of the bus I instruct the guide that she better stop the bus, or face a god-awful mess – I’m not sure she understood my words, but my body language must have been crystal clear. I can’t describe how embarrassing this event was, and so I won’t. 

And so we found ourselves sitting at a bus stop in an unknown part of Kyoto, with no idea where we were or how to get back to the hotel – and me periodically hurling, what an adventure. Not wanting to risk making a mess of one of Kyoto’s fine taxis we decide to take the bus to the station and from there get the hotel shuttle; somehow making a mess of a city bus seemed more acceptable than defacing a taxi. As I lay sprawled on the bench in the bus stop, Sandra figured out the bus system – no mean feat since the signage was all in Japanese! 

Back at the hotel by early afternoon I lay down and slept for the rest of the day and, on and off, through the night.